A Year End Testimonial

The ending of this year has been interesting to say the least. After working hard for a year on Stargate Worlds (where I do crafting and minigame design), our company, Cheyenne Mountain Entertainment, ran into a funding hiccup. Talk about frustrating! We'd finally reached a point in which the game is coming together well - our internal play sessions were becoming a weekly highlight instead of a chore, and each system was being tweaked to make the game more polished and more fun than before.

But there was this hiccup, which turned into (I'm sure you all heard) - a lack of paychecks.

Some cynics would say this showed a fundamental flaw in our company, but in the end, I chalk up these issues to a faltering worldwide economy mixed with the inherent risks of working for a start-up company. While blame can and probably will be laid in all manner of directions, for me, not seeing the game come together at the very end was a major morale buster.

I certainly wasn't the only one. Bit by bit the daily grind became just that - a grind. Who wants to work when you aren't getting paid?

I kept coming to work - and I admit, the amount of work I did each day was dropping. As a systems designer, a lot of what I do is repetitive and can get boring fast if you don't get into the right mindset.

I tried taking a couple days off to center myself, but again, the lack of paycheck issue was too distracting... so I came back to work.

This isn't a "hurray for me" posting, but instead a testimonial of some things that happened that restored my faith in the industry, the fans, and friendships that can be found online.

Shortly after it became obvious that my company (despite what was obviously heroic efforts) wasn't going to be paying us immediately, I realized I would have to cancel my once-yearly trip to see my two children. Parents out there can imagine what this is like - literally waiting for an entire year and seeing this get shot down right before the year end was worse for my morale than any corporate troubles could be for me.

Also, my plans to give my kids a decent Christmas were rapidly going down the tubes. My son was finally getting old enough to play some computer games, and I wanted to be there for him with things like Spore, and Mario Kart, and more.

Needless to say, I was in a pretty bleak mood when I heard that the gaming site Ten Ton Hammer was performing a fund-raising drive to give parents at CME gift cards to buy their kids gifts.

The way it was reported to me, and the general cynicism of the office, made me immediately suspicious. TTH needs publicity to thrive, and it seemed to many of us that their gesture was a publicity stunt.

After thinking and saying some regretful things, a series of events happened that turned things around for me.

First, someone gave me an anonymous donation. Then another. Then a friend took me aside and helped me out as well. I don't know for sure where the anonymous gifts came from, and in the spirit they were given, I didn't look too hard. I did some math and realized I could survive the month, plus buy a little something for my kids.

Despite the troubles we were all having, there were still people at the company looking out for one another. It certainly lifted my spirits, and I began to reassess my situation... and my attitude.

Then the Ten Ton Hammer donation came in. At this point, things were definitely looking... well, not good, but not bad given that I had entered the month wondering if I would be evicted from my apartment, and ending it with presents under the tree for my kids, and most of my bills paid. So here I can publically thank TTH for their donation. I know now you are not doing it with the hopes of thanks, but I thank you nonetheless. My industry is a high risk one, especially if you work for the smaller companies, and for some of us, the risk is higher. TTH, as a site that shows the pulse of the gaming fanbase, has shown me that gaming fans are still the best fans in the entertainment industry.

After all, in the end I just wanted to work on this game. And the fans just want to play a good game. I'm gratified that groups like TTH and my co-workers helped me move from thinking about real-life economies to thinking about Stargate World's economy.

But the testimonial does not end there. A friend, from out of the blue, plopped down a credit card and paid for my plane ticket home to see my kids. This friend knew that once a year I get to be daddy, and play with the kids and see how they have grown (my daughter can read now! my son just tested to go into advanced classes!). The difference between an every-other-day phone call and actual flesh and blood can never be denied.

The thing is, this friend only knew me from my presence on the internet. I'm not the most even-keeled net-dweller, and yet this friend knew that the one thing I strive for each year is to spend time with my kids. I had never met this friend in person, and maintained a friendship based strictly on text... and yet she knew what made me tick and decided to help me out.

So this testimonial is dedicated to all of you who made 2008 end on a high note. To my co-workers' generosity, to Ten Ton Hammer and all the fans out there, to my friend Anne, who all showed once again that the internet is not a soulless place, and that the computer gaming industry is still and always the best family you can have.